Thursday, 21 November 2013
Monday, 18 November 2013
When they love each other
Throughout my entire pregnancy people would always ask "how do you think Flynn will react to a new baby" my response was always the same "I think he'll be ok, he'll probably just want all my attention when im feeding/changing/settling". But really in my mind I had NO idea. I was completely clueless. I was only saying what I thought sounded right. He was only 2 and a half at the time and although he wasn't really naughty, he was a very determined littel lad.
Every time someone else asked me this stupid question, that I found impossible to answer it sent me into a state of panic. It made me doubt our decision to have another so close in age, was I able to look after two kids, what if Flynn resents me, will the new baby get neglected, how will Flynn react, what if he hates her, what if he hurts her. Round and round, until the day Isla was born.
The day I went into labour, all I could think about was poor Flynn being shoved from pillar to post. He was with his Nana's, so no one out of the ordinary. In fact he loved staying with them. But I couldn't help but think "is this it now? Poor Flynn being shoved out!". I had made the decision to stay in hospital 2 nights, just to adjust to having a baby again before having to go home to normal life. Until, Flynn came to meet his new sister for the first time. I wasn't expecting him so it took me by surprise. A good test on my hormonal emotions! He seemed so relaxed. Wasn't fazed, he loved her! Even the days and weeks after he never seemed jealous or upset by having a new baby. My only worry was he loved her TOO much! Cuddled too tight. Kissed too hard. Wanted to be near he all the time!
11 months on and they surprise me more and more every day. They really love each other. Isla follows Flynn every where. He calls her to come and play, she goes running. They just look at each other and make each other laugh. Sharing is a tiny issue but iy doesn't take long for Flynn to come round. *as I type they are fighting over Wreck it Ralph*. They play together, in different ways, but the diea is there. The concern in Isla's eye's when Flynn is upset, and vice versa, warms me to the bone. Flynn always asks if Isla can have something before he gives it to her or tells me when she's about to eat little bits she likes to find. He always puts on a iddy pitty voice when talking to her aswell.
Its love. The kind of love I thought I would never see. It always makes it a lot easier when they are being impossible. Which is most of the time!
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
Am I a breastfeeding outsider?
On the weekend I was at a friends baby shower, with a mixture of Mama's and non Mama's. One of the Mama's has a 10 week old, she had left at home with Dad. She said she never nursed out and about because she felt awkward and embarrassed. Another one of the Mama's who has two kiddies, never tried because she felt it weird. Another who has 3, 2 being twins, gave it a good go with the twins but couldn't carry on, but with her first fed for 10 months. One last Mama fed for 1 day but it hurt to much.
The non Mama's seemed quite against breast feeding, especially in public and just seemed a bit baffled and put off -- they seemed a bit weirded out to me.
The Mama of the shower wanted to try but wasn't going to push it if it didn't work out.
I wasn't really a part of this conversation, I just heard it going on in the background (nosy, me? No!) Now I am not a preacher of breastfeeding and it's bloody hard to get started. All Mama's are entitled to feed their Babes however they feel right for them. A happy Babe is a happy Mama after all. But I was just a bit taken back by the reaction from everyone, it just seemed that most of them thought breast feeding wasn't normal.
On this occasion I went to a different room to feed Isla as there was quite a lot going on and she's a nosy parker (like her mother maybe?!) so I just wanted her to get a good feed other wise I'd be feeding all day. Maybe they thought I was shy about feeding. Maybe Not?
On another occasion Lee has said about stopping, and when I went out one evening and Isla actually liked drinking formula from a bottle (drank it, didn't settle though), he said that I could stop now as she 'likes' a bottle. I'm not sure why he thought I would like to stop. Because she had teeth or something. I said no we're good the way we are. Clearly he's forgotten how expensive formula is and what a faff it can be! Our neighbour (also a fella) said something along the same lines. Again I've no idea why, I've never complained about breastfeeding.
I felt like I was being cornered for wanted to feed my baby. Not only do I feed her for the health benefits, but for the expense, the extra crap I'd have to carry around, and it's just so much easy to whack a boob out. No?
Maybe I'm getting confused? A lot of people ask if I'm still feeding her. They always seemed so surprised when I say yes. "Oh wow really!?" with a puzzled look on their faces! Lee's Nan is brilliant "Oh really Sarah, are you all right doing that?" really? Why wouldn't I be?!
Like I said I'm all for breast or formula (Flynn was formula fed from 4 months old). What ever is good for you as a Mama. I'm just flabbergasted over people's thinking of breast feeding. I've read about it but I've never seen it with my own two eyes.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Isla Lei at 10 Months
Isla really is a joy to be around and at 10 months her little personally really is shining though. She is the happiest baby and smiles at anyone and everyone. I will have to rein this in as she gets older -- STRANGER DANGER! Her crawling is adorable as she's just started to get it right and starts to explore the house -- mainly eating whatever lint is lying around! Before now, if Flynn ever hurt her or took something away she wouldn't kick up any fuss, I'd find myself saying "Flynn please don't do that, Isla is sad now" as she sits there not batting an eye lid! But now she makes herself heard. Oh god has Flynn got it coming! She's stored all the horrible things he's done to her and she's getting him back -- biting is her thing at the moment. If Flynn has bare legs, she goes storming over grabbing at him head first. It's quite hard telling a 10 month old off (for the sake of a 3 yr old) and her laughing in your face!
Sleep is not on Isla's agenda right now. She used to settle herself so nicely, but teeth seem to be getting in the way of this. Or am I? (More on this later). Their are 2 toothies at the bottom of her little chops and 2 diddy one's just come though at the top. Her hair shines a little red in the sunshine and she refuses to wear a hat. I can't find any shoes to fit her titchy feet and her socks fall off ALL the time. We're still in 6-9 clothes and some 3-6! Standing is a new favourite but she can't quite find how to sit back down. We have to be in the right environment to feed as she's a nosy parker and my milk still sprays all over the joint!
Watching Isla grow is lovely, and watching her with Flynn is even better. They make each other laugh at the tiniest things. All they have to do is smile at each other. I feel so lucky to have my 2. They melt my heart as much as they make me pull my hair out. But such is life. I love watching her but it also makes me sad that she will no longer be a baby soon. What kind of toddler will she be?! Dare I ask!
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Those precious moments
Especially Isla, from day dot she has very rarely fallen asleep on any one, she likes to suck her thumb, with her Cuski and fall in the land of zzz's in her cot. But on the weekend I was mildly (ahem)hung over. The best place for me was in bed. Lee very lovingly let me snooze whilst he played with the babies, but Isla can't live a single moment with out me and my boobs so in comes Isla. One feed later and she's all snuggled into me sucking her thumb and staring into my eyes. I kid you not I was almost blubbing like a baby. I just watched her fall asleep, just like that. I so wanted to sleep myself but I just found myself watching her teeny tiny little face and just treasured one of the most precious moments we've ever had.
My heart was on the floor.
Like I said, they drive me so incredibly nuts at times. But I love em, and their mine.