Flynn turns 4

In 2 weeks my little curly one will turn 4. I say it a lot. People say it a lot. But I really mean in when I say where has this year gone. It literally feels like just last month it was his 3rd birthday party. 

He's grown so much in this past year. From a toddler just learning to boy with lots of opinions and witty-ness. He is very clearly a proper boy into proper boy things. Football, Spider Man, The Hulk, fighting, building, and computer games. As soon as he see's our guy friends coming he's straight in there with a fist pump and a play fight. As soon as Daddy comes home it's a "can I play you file on Zelda". He's for ever putting Isla in jail and showing her how to play with his Batcave. He's all about the rough and tumble.

Teeny tiny

Take a step back from this and he's quite a sensitive creature. He needs kisses and cuddles (on his terms) and has to know what we're doing that day and where we're going and who we're going to see. He likes to tell you how he's done something. And when he says look, he really means look. He watches Peter Rabbit before a bed time story and likes to be carried to bed 'like a baby', by Daddy always. When he cries it's a real heart felt, tearful cry and you can't help but run to the rescue. 

Sibling, no?

3 has definitely been a testing year. Terrible two's, shitty three's. I can only wonder what 4 will bring. As the year has gone on he's shown a real personality and a massive leap in behaviour. He can get his point across now which has been a huge help. Nursery has been a god send and he loves it. September brings school. I'm definitely more nervous then Flynn! But he's ready. He's ready to learn instead of play. He's ready to make new friends and start new adventures.

We have horrible bad days when I shout too much and he doesn't listen much but more often then not our days are good and I love watching him want to try things by himself (even if it does include a million and 1 questions). I love watching him with Isla, showing her all the things he knows and she tries so hard to copy. I cannot wait for 4, and I'm more then sure Flynn can't wait either.

Two's enough

People ask me a lot "when are you having another one?" or "what are you going to do when Flynn starts school, have another?". I don't know if they truly are asking me a genuine question or if they're just making small talk. My answer is always the same. Two is enough. In my head I'm screaming FOR NOW. When I say "No way, two's enough" my heart isn't really in it. I'm not committed.

Two really is enough, at the moment. I love being pregnant and those first 12 weeks when you and your Baby Daddy are the only ones in the world who know about this precious life, that over whelming rush of love when you first see that little face, all those new born cuddles and watching them sleep like nothing else matters in the world. And then, that milestone, the one I was practically forcing Flynn to do and holding Isla back with all my strength. Crawling. Once they learn to crawl it's all crazy from here on. Your ears, eyes and everything else are in all directions. 

These precious babies get a whole new lease of life. Freedom. And then they get cocky and start trying to stand up and grab all kinds of shit. You can't even go for a wee with out them following you or rushing to the next danger spot whilst Mama aint looking! And then they get a little bored of the freedom and mellow a little bit. Then the walking. EVERYTHING is a danger zone. Corners to bang heads on start appearing where you had no idea they existed before. And don't get me started on the not being able to talk. We'll by pass the terrible two's all together.

And then they get fun again. And then my ovaries are pining away to do their job and my heart jumps at the sight of a new born. And then I stupidly start to think logically. 2 really is perfect right now. We only have two bedrooms. We cannot afford to buy a new car. And Isla is only 16 months old. We said we'd have 4 kids, but that was before Flynn was even born! Enough said.

So people with out kids, stop asking me if I'm going to have a football team. And when I'm going to pop out any more. Because my heart aches every time I have to say no.

My troubles-some two keep me on my toes & I'm happy with that!

Hello April

I am welcoming April with HUGE open arms! Jan/Feb/March have been total write off's for me. January and February were pretty serious with Mum being quite poorly and March was just boring & irritating house troubles. It's such a boring story I'm not even going to groan on about it any more! Instead I'm all for April and starting again. 

I'm loving the Daf's and the blossom and the fresh mornings. The sun isn't quite on our side just yet but all things Spring are showing their beautiful faces.

I can't wait to get my two loves out the house and soaking up the Spring loveliness. 

If the sun doesn't want to show for these two happy bubs then I don't know what!

The last feed

13 months and 19 days. 13 months and 19 days of feeding Isla. 13 months and 19 of 'giving her the best start in life'. And all I'm left with is the guilt that I didn't carry on for as long as possible. Stupid huh?! This morning Isla had her last feed. Although I did not realise that it would be the last feed. Good I suppose, overwise I would have been a blubbering mess.

I've been pondering over the past week whether Isla Is getting the very best out of breastfeeding any more. Whether it's just a habit or if she is actually gaining any thing from it. Obviously she'd be getting some nutrients, but was it enough?

Before my Mum went into hospital just after new years, we had to cut feeds from as and when Isla 'needed' (she was one) a feed to once in the morning, once before I left the house to go to the hospital (twice a day) and when I got back, once after a meal and at bed time. So she was still feeding a fair bit. That soon went down to 3 feeds a day, then to just once in the morning and once at bed time. That's been the past couple of weeks. But the past week my nipples have been really sore. Like newborn sore but unlike a newborn she was only feeding twice a day so I thought they would heal pretty quick. I put them down to Isla sucking harder as she had missed it in the day and maybe my milk had gone down, feeds were shorter before she was coming off and looking at my boob a bit confused. I was wrong. They're still sore. So this evening she was tired at about half 6, half hr before bedtime and the thought of feeding her didn't really seem that appealing. I got her ready for bed and put some milk in a bottle (something she's never taken), sat in our usual chair in her dimmed bedroom and she drank the milk. Wasn't even bothered! I gave her a kiss and lay her in her sleeping bag, gave her her cuski and shut the door. She didn't even care that I hadn't fed her. And that was that. And then the tears came. I cried and cried. Like I hadn't cried for years. I couldn't stop. And I couldn't tell you where they came from. It's only breastfeeding after all. Something I thought I would never be able to do.

I'm sure the next few days will be hard. She already tries to get into my top during the day. But I'm hoping she just forgets (wishfull thinking). I said I would feed for a year but when 6/7/8 months came and it all became so easy I didn't mind how long we carried on for. She was still tiny after all. So I'm blessed we went for as long as we did. A whole lot longer than Flynn's journey. I will miss it. It was our quiet time and apart from sleeping it was when she was at her calmest.

Now where to buy some comfy ass bra's?!

Isla Baby at ONE!

Oh Isla, Isla, Isla. One once seemed so so far away. And I dreaded the day. It made me anxious. I wanted you to be a baby forever. Well the big 'One' finally came. And I tell ya, it ain't all that bad. Of course you're still my baby but you're a whole lot more fun!

We had a small affair for your birthday, you're a very lucky girl and share it with you Great Nanny (my Nan), so we shared the morning with her, and Nanny Wendy (my Mum). In the afternoon you got to see your Nanny Debbie, Pappy, Great Nanny Pat and Great Granddad Des! Luckily you were on top form all day and were in the party spirit!

Give me that cake!

Since then you've learnt to walk! A bit like a little drunk robot! But 3 weeks later and you're perfecting it. You like to climb on the coffee table & Flynn's bed, rather annoying might I add. Your favourite toys are Flynn's case for his DS, you carry it like a little handbag. Little animals, you like to tip them out of the tin and look at the one by one and stick them all in your mouth. Flynn's puzzles and playing cards, yes another annoying one, when will you learn to tidy them up after?! And your baby doll, poor thing gets bitten all over!

You're still a happy little bean and a pleasure to watch. You adore Flynn and he you. Although you still like to bite him for reasons unknown to anyone, but we're working on that. You make your self laugh, you like to clap, wave and dance. You're also a little vicious though, we all often get the odd slap, grab or poke. Your favourite foods are spag bol, chilli, noodles, broccoli and watsits! You're not keen on cows milk and I think our breastfeeding journey isn't quite over. You had you're first (and last, I hope!) visit to A&E when you had a reaction to egg, which you were thoroughly enjoying! And you've got 6 little teeth and I'm sure the 7th is trying to rear it's ugly head. 

Yes, you like to eat!

I wanted your first year to last forever but life after one must go on! You're a little love that's for sure but please learn to love sleep! So one turns out to be quite fun...what will the next few months bring?!

It's been a bit hectic..

We've been rather hectic over here. I got so sucked in my Christmas, I was like a walking fairy light! Previous years have been, ahem not, so, good. So I really wanted this one to be special for the little bears. And it was!

New years had been a quiet adventure for us for the past 4 years. Normally resulting with me asleep by 11* (*9), and Lee becoming less and less interested. Our party days aren't quite over but they're hibernating for now. That's all.

I was all ready to get back to it with new little projects to start, was even writing my first post of the year. Then BAM. Bad news hits me like a hole in the head. My poor Mama had a heart attack. Out of the blue. She'd had a flu over Christmas, which turned into a chest infection but the day before the heart attack when I spoke to her she sounded better.

10 days in hospital, the last 3 of which she was in insolation after catching MRSA from her drip, she finally came home last night. A whole lot better then when she arrived! She's on the mend but my nerves are shot to pieces!

So we're still here. Just quiet. But back to it. And excited :)

Belated happy new year to you all x

Follow my blog with Bloglovin