Monday 7 January 2013

Resolution

I've been thinking long and hard about what resolution I want to make and try really hard not to break. No booze..that's easy as I'm breast feeding. No sweets...I can live without anyway. Exercise more...no chance, I don't even get a chance to wee let alone get out the house by myself. This pointless list could go on, so I came to the conclusion to think a bit deeper, delve in a bit more and think about me. Me as a mother, as a friend, lover, and me just for me. My mind is always going 1000mph...dinner, dishes, Flynn, washing, Isla, money money money, what side did I feed her last, is Flynn happy enough...I give my self a ruddy headache sometimes. So 2013 is a year to clear my mind and keep moving forward. I suffered with PND for quite some time after I had Flynn and it was the most terrifying place to be, I hated the person I was and was scared to be me. I hid in a small hole from the people who loved me most and kept telling myself I didn't need to come out. Little things like answering the phone, even to people I knew, shook me up. Leaving the house was a struggle and getting up out of bed even worse. I was in a deep dark place, even with the help of antidepressants. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone!
So here's to looking up and onwards, to a happier healthier mind and to keep open arms to all the people I love. I'm not going to tell myself this is going to be easy, but I'm going to give it a god damn good go I tell ya!

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