Reflection

2012 has been a lovely year here at the Holland house hold. Here's some of my highlights..

· Moving to a lovely bungalow with a garden - it's been a bit of a building site at times but it's starting to look like home.
· Up the duff! A surprise, we always wanted more kidlets but we would have liked to plan it! Hey ho, we are very blessed.
· Flynn turns two! My baby boy is growing so fast it's unreal! He used to be a wee little cherub and he's growing into a cheeky toddler right before my very eyes!
· It's a girl - I tried so hard not to get my hopes up for a little princess but I'd be lieing if I say I wouldn't have been a tad disappointed if it was a boy. I even asked the sonographer if she was sure and not to tell me if she wasn't 100 percent!
· Isla Lei - in my head I was secretly praying she would arrive on the 21st, my Nans birthday. Someone some where love's me and listened deeply, this was the best thing that's happened all year by far, it made mine and my Nans year for sure!
· Christmas as a family of 4 - I couldn't have asked for more to be honest, seeing my big boy open ALL his presents and then some, with my baby girl tucked up known her crib could not have made me any happier!
· Breastfeeding - I really struggled with Flynn and after 10 days we moved on to exclusive expressing, hard times I tell you! We are now at day 10, although mastitis has struck, we'll get through it and will enjoy feeding for as long as we can.

We've also had some really tough times with money! Alot of the year has been spent worrying and worrying more about how we'll survive on a miniscule budget but we'll get there, we always do.

So here's to a good 2012 but an even more special 2013 as a foursome!

Lush bath

I quite literally had a Lush bath! With the bestest, softest, stinkyest bath bomb going. Don't ask me what one it was, I just chucked that bad boy in and let it work it's magic! My first hot luscious bath pre-Isla, pre-fat tum. Amazing...it ended with Flynn and his toys in with me but it was nice to have some quite time with my boy. Luckily for me I have a very kind brother in law who works in the Lush factory who has well and truly stocked me up to the high heavens in bath bombs and the likes - new years resolution: indulge in a stinky bath at least once a week! Happy relaxed mama!

Isla Lei

She arrived! 21st December at 6.44pm weighing 7lb 1 1/2 oz. She is an absolute dream, feeds poops and sleeps like a new born should! Flynn is in love with her and is far more gentle then I expected. Best Christmas present any mama could ask for x

40+1

So bit of an update on this baby malarkey. Had a show last night and very mild contractions. Woke up this morning and sat up to wee myself a little. Well turns out this isn't wee as I'm not that incompetent just yet. I'm thinking it's waters or more show but it keeps coming every now and then so I'm guessing it's more likely to be waters. The hospital ring at half 8 and say they can book me in for half 9 to have a measurement scan. Shit. Quickly call mother in law to take us, luckily she has the day off and we were going to do some last minute Christmas bits anyway. All good. Waters still coming. I feel like an old lady, any sudden movement is crucial!
Scan goes well and baby is looking a healthy 7lb 3oz give or take. But seeing as I'm not entirely sure if my waters have gone or if its a show I need to see the midwife. I have to lie on the bed, half starkers for 20 minutes. Thank god I said to Debbie and Flynn to stay in the waiting area or this would have been a bit awkward. Midwife is quite a nice older lady, she made me a damn good cup of tea. Perfect. She carries on with her bits and bobs, and I sip tea and feel the water trickling. Lovely.
Turns out my waters DEFENITELY have gone, but as my contractions are mild it's just a waiting game. If nothing happens between now and 7:30am tomorrow I have to go to a different hospital then planned and be induced. Not what I want at all. But I will have a Bubby by Sunday. All good.
This labour couldn't be any more different from Flynn's. As soon as my waters popped with Flynn (and there was no water to be seen) that was it. Excruciating pain and 2 and a half hours later we had a baby boy. Done and dusted.
So I'm just sat here waiting with contractions coming but not very often and bearable. Lee is out doing last minute Christmas bits. We've had to scratch some peoples off the list (sorry guys) as I want to choose them presents and have no idea what to get but I'm not moving from this house now...not with every movement resulting in more water coming out. Flynn is with Debbie, and then will go and stay with my Mum tonight to save the hassle of getting him there in the morning before I have to get induced. So I don't really have anything to do. Well that's a massive lie, as the house isn't exactly tidy and there will be more presents to wrap when Lee gets home but other then that I can't really do much or Ill be swimming around the house.
Let's hope something happens tonight or I'll have to scrap my nice water birth for a bed with wires in my arms and probably a lot more pain then a natural birth (so they say).
Come on baby! Do your thing!

40 weeks

I've not dwelled on this day too much, I've told my self it's from this day 'any day now' will happen. Not before. And definitely not on this exact day.

So I've survived 40 weeks of pregnancy with a toddler. Mostly ok up until 3rd trimester, that's when I got a bit on the fat side and normal day to day easy things started to get on my nerves. I'm not gunna lie, I do like being pregnant but I put that down to having relatively simple pregnancies. But this time I did get fed up sooner, I put this down to having a terrible two's to keep an eye on.

So this afternoon I saw the mid-wife...although not my usual mid-wife so I did panic a little as my lovely lady said I could have a stretch and sweep! The new lovely lady said she would do it anyway. Phew. So this is how my appointment went..

She asked how I was and checked my blood pressure blah de blah, checked my urine but then gave me back my urine in the pot, great just what I want to take home with me. She then gave my tum a prod and poke, got her measuring tape out, asked me where my pubic bone was? I don't effing know! Your meant to tell me where it is! I haven't seen that area for months! Ok she thinks she's found it, but also thinks I'm measuring a tad on the small side. I mentioned I felt small to my normal mid-wife at about 32weeks or so but she wasn't concerned and we carried on as normal. So at 40weeks I'm being told I'm small and will be being referred for a measurement scan, which I have to wait for the hospital to send a letter or call. Over the Christmas period. When everyone likes to wear their pyjamas and stuff their faces NOT be at work. Ok fine, I won't argue. She then felt around to see where the baby was lying, she now has her fingers around my pubic area and the exact words that come out her mouth ''Is that a head down, engaged?'' WHAT! I know it's Christmas and all that lady but I ain't doing your job for you, you need to tell me! Forgive me if I'm mistaken but is she not the professional?! She should know this kinda shiz.
Any way I heard her mumble to herself whilst writing all this jibba jabba in my notes that I'm 2/5th engaged, I don't even know if this is good or not? Maybe I'll ask Flynn, he knows all this stuff!
She then says we'll do the sweep, great stuff! Get undressed, oh no I haven't got any gloves. Great so I'm stood in me knick-knacks, whilst she runs round the whole surgery looking for some gloves. Returns. Gloves too small. ALL I WANT IS A SWEEP AND HOME!
Sweep goes well, she said she could feel babies head and soft spot. Surely this is good..come on baby, I need to see you this weekend, no later!
Just in case this delightful sweep doesn't work then I need to book in to see the mid-wife next week. Ok we can do that. No we can't because she can't use the booking system on the computer, off to the reception desk she goes. No, nothing for next week, that's ok I'll book you in at one of the local children's centre. Yes please. She's on the phone now, oh ok no we can't as all the children's centres are closed over Christmas. She's forgotten it's Christmas hasn't she! Ok so now I'm booked at the hospital next Thur to see the mid-wife. Please do not let this happen baby.

I don't really want a measurement scan and I really don't want to have to go and see the mid-wife again. All I want is my baby in my arms and to enjoy Christmas day as a family of 4. Asking to much here am I Santa? Well I'm pretty sure you're a bloke and will never endure pregnancy/birth so you have no flipping idea do you...so grant my wish now! Jeanie lamp anyone?

So watch this space. I've got a hopeful feeling about this sweep but that could just be me hoping to much. Who knows.

Potty Training

6 Months in and I'm starting to think what the hell am I doing! We have good days and bad days, but the bad days are like back to square one...

The main reason we started potty training is because my beautifully behaved boy HATED having his nappy changed and it would end in tears, kicks and screaming every time. I tried pull ups but no this child knew what was coming.
I eased him in, I didn't go all military or anything, I usually let him run round half knacked until he got the knack of running to the potty with out the upset of wetting his pants and we would go out in pull ups..he got this quite quickly. BIG mistake I made here! What I should have done is whacked him in the pants first off and let him learn the mistake of 'unhappy pants' (wet pants), I decided to do this 2/3 months down the line instead! And like I said we have good and bad days.
He can be so good when we're out and about and can some times be good when at friends/families houses and I'm so proud that he's dry and there is always lots of praise and high fives. But then when we're at home he seems to slip. Ok I admit the TV is on most of the time but he's not sat glued to it like it's the best thing on earth. We read lots and play and do lots of fun stuff together whilst we're at home and I remind him that the potty is there if he needs a wee and to let me know if he needs to go. Sometimes if he's really engaged in something he's playing with he leaves it a little late, that's fine I can accept this. But for the past 2 days, he hasn't wee'd on the potty/toilet once..NOT ONCE! I've had a bastard cold which has left my patience running low as it is, and I haven't been as entertaining as I try to normally but come on there's no need to punish me child!
He stayed at Lee's mums over the weekend, and as far as I know he's normally quite good at using the toilet there (bar a few accidents when tired etc) I don't know how long she leave's a nappy on after a nap or when he wakes in the morning though. All I know is we were doing really well and now after this weekend it's gone tits up.
Lee's mum came to my rescue yesterday as I was on the verge of a breakdown so she collected Flynn after work. I put him in a pull up as he hadn't had a nap and was falling asleep on me before he left, so I guessed he would fall asleep in the car. How ever when he came home he still had the same pull up on! I didn't have the energy to be pissed off or even mention anything to Lee.
Again this morning he hasn't wee'd once on the potty and has instead decided to pee everywhere else, but he does have the common courtesy to take his wet pants off and put them in his wash bin, thanks mate!

I really don't know, I thought we would have this down by the time the baby comes?! Was I expecting too much from a 2 and a half year old? Am I asking for the world? There is no way I'm giving up because I know he can do it and I have every little faith that he will master it, just a little help along the way maybe?!

Ment to be

Oh be-jesus! Today was obviously the best day to decide to start this blog again (mainly as a place to vent)...Flynn has been the worlds WORST child today!! That is an understatement! This is how our day has gone:

5:30am - I'm up before anyone, not out of choice, I have a cold of all mothering colds and my body hates me! Fine! Flynn refuses to have any breakfast..fine! I've already consumed enough honey, lemon and god damn ginger to turn into a ruddy cup of the stuff (thanks to the pharmacist who gave it to me...and thanks to him again who thought I had already had the baby)

Lets just say 7am because I've lost track of the world by now - Flynn has propably wet him self oooh 4/5 times by now! I'm losing my voice/will power/will to live and he's running out of trousers. I know he's doing this on purpose...he loves being naked.

By about 10 still no breakfast has been eaten, my ankles have been ran into by a small child on a car (thank you to the people of gave us this stupid car, Flynn loves it and also loves to bash me with it ALL THE BLOODY TIME), I've cried twice, begged Flynn to be nice to mummy, wiped up god knows how many puddles of wee, told him too many times to use the potty, gone through a box of man size, attempted to entertain this devil with christmas paper chains for them only to be completed and then torn up, moaned to Lee over the phone a few times and finelly sent a text to the mother in law demanding she pick Flynn up after work or I will burn the house down! (in few nicer words then that!)

It's now 2:30 and the house is quite, I'm going to down my 15th useless cup of decaf tea and stare at the walls, as this is all my pea sized baby brain can take right now...right up until half 5 when Lee and Flynn will be home and I have to be Mum again!

And if one more person askes me if i've had any 'rumblings' yet I will....I don't know what I'll do because I'm too tired!

Hello again

New start, clean slate and all that!
It's been a while and firstly I'm apologising to myself for not making this blog how it should have been...honest! It was not honest in the slightest...it wasn't me and reading the old post's annoyed me so much I deleted them! Gone...start again yeah?
Well firstly time flies and FAST! I happen to be up the duff again...

 

This was a surprise!

 

And according to my very nice mid-wife I am due any day now...she's lovely and all that but I don't believe a word she says!

 

My baby Flynn has turned from this..

 





 

..To this..

 



 

 

Haven't we done well!
It's been a year and a half what with moving house, getting preggers, turning 2 and so on so let the fun and games begin.

Watch this space...and say a prayer or 1000 as I am more then ready to pop and have been for weeks.