Busy

Busy mad week. Some good bits, some bad bits. Mainly involved me shouting at flynn ALOT! The child just does not listen, so I have to repeat my message to him several times, voice getting louder each time. I then feel guilty for shouting and telling off. I seem to be the only one who tells him off. I always say to myself "pick your battles well with flynn" other wise I end up telling him off non stop but I seem to be telling him off non stop anyway. Infuriating.

People like to turn up at my door unannounced, which is ok, i dont mind company. But sometimes a little heads up wouldnt go a miss. I do have two young things to look after so clothes and makeup dont really happen. So when people just turn up it makes me feel pretty shit as I look a mess and probably havnt brushed my teeth. Not nice. They also turn up at really good times like when im trying to get flynn to sleep or have my boobs out. Again, very fucking annoying. Like I said I dont mind company. Sometimes.

Good point is he started nursery on Wednesday. We only went to see it on Tuesday but they had spaces and he played so nicely for the short time we were there on the Tuesday that she said he could start straight away. Dropped him off the next day and he could not wait to get through those doors. Not even a hug. Not even a goodbye! The little shit didnt even realise I had gone. No tears. No looking back. Two and a half years ive nurtured that boy and he didnt even realise I was gone!

So to end this week nicely I indulged in a bloody amazing massage and some reflexology to 'balance my hormones'. Heres to a happier me. 

Silent sunday

Matilda Mae

I read very few blogs religiously but the ones I do read I love to keep up to date with. Most of them involving lovely mums and their lovely kidlets. So I dedicate this post to Jennie at Edspire, who I discovered when i fell pregnant with Isla, she was pregnant at the same time. She suddenly lost her baby girl Matilda Mae on sunday night. Matilda Mae was a gloriously happy and healthy little girl, who was exactly 9 months old. This news has really touched my heart and I cant even begin to imagine the pain Jennie and her familly are going through. When you read about peoples lifes and families on a day to day basis you learn an aweful lot about who they are. This baby girl will be so desrly missed and I send all my love and strength to Jennie and her family at this very sad time.

23

23 is my new magic number. Old I know. Pah. I look about 25, feel 85. Other then that I had a lovely day on Tue,  was very spoilt with gifts and flowers and chocolates and a lovely thai dinner ordered from our favorite thai place. Was looking forward to my first glass of wine since finding out I was pregnant but Isla had other ideas and would not settle and fed on and off all evening so I had half a glass that was enjoyed by the sip over about 3 hrs! Had a late night. Wait for it. 10pm! Geez am I paying for it now. And will finish with going shopping tomorrow with Danielle. Lavley!

Isla 3 smiles

So I've had 3 smiles. First one was a complete surprise, a weekend when Lee was away, Flynn at his Nans, me with a towel on my head cooing over Isla as she had just woke up from a marathon 5hr nap and there it was. I didn't quite believe it at first as most of her smiles are wind but then it stayed longer and she was staring straight at me. I don't think people believed me though.
The second was on Saturday after a day out shopping. Lee carried Isla in the Bjorn the whole time and when we got home I was getting her out of the car seat and I said 'Did you miss Mummy' in my highest pitched voice going. Lee saw this one so it had to be real.
Third was tonight. She was having a melt down. Nothing was soothing her. So I took her into a quiet room. Asked her what was wrong. And a big beam came.

So rewarding after all these weeks of being used as a cow/dummy/comforter. After sitting surrounded by mess every where. After feeling more then a little unappreciated by all. Looking a mess and feeling like a zombie. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip and look like I'm a natural. All it took was a few smiles and I feel right as rain.

Until all the crying and mess starts to get to me again. And then another smile and all will be right in the world. Swings and roundabouts.

Until my next smile, this is all we get.



Silent sunday