No such thing as 'me time'

Right now I should be wrapped in my pjs whilst eating a late dinner post spin class. Instead I'm wrapped in my pjs, no dinner, no spin class. The second time this has happened this week. The reason..me forever having to deal with the kids.

The gym is the only time I get out the house ALONE! No kids fighting for my attention. I don't even get to shower or pee alone. This is motherhood. So I like the gym, me time. 

Instead I'm doing my motherly duties which made me late for my classes this week. I'm especially annoyed tonight as I was sitting with flynn whilst he ate his dinner, nicely,  which he NEVER does. Realised I then only had 5 minutes to get isla fed and in bed. Whilst rushing isla into bed I asked lee if he could drop me off instead of me catching the bus but no he's had too many drinks. I got dressed and ran out the house, forgot my drink, got said drink, run to bus stop. Bus drives past. FML. Wait 10 minutes, not going to make it. Stomp home.

Me time is fucked.

In need of a holiday.

Some one pleeeease let me have a holiday. I'm drownimg in stay at home mum rubbishness. My choice to stay at home yes, but I need a break. Away. Away from here. Away from all the things giving me palpitations. Ill invite the kids and Lee I suppose. As long as we're away from here. Lake District dounds lovely. Or Cornwall. I like the sound of a log cabin or teepee some where with beautiful views and quiteness and peace.

Bank man says no. So maybe I'm not asking for the holiday but the funds. Anyone?

'Nursing rooms'

I'm not shy about breast feeding. Rewind 3 years ago and the thought of feeding in public gave me palpitations. Just the thought of the flap of latching Flynn on and people catching a sneak peak of one of my nips or milk spraying an innocent coffee drinker definitely made feeding in the changing room appealing. 

Nowadays I'm a braver mama and whack em' out when ever Isla needs. In the 7 months I've fed Isla I've not once fed her in a changing room which has a very thoughtfully placed plastic chair in. Funnily enough that doesn't really seem comfy to me. Not until the other day when Isla and I were out shopping by our selves, she'd done one of those glorious explosive shits, so off to the changing room in Asda. All good. She won't go back into the pushchair with out screeching. A feed it is. Sat in a chair opposite the toilet, that had poo splatted on the floor next to it. A few weeks later when in the same loo to change Isla, the chair had moved to a different wall, alas still facing in the direction of the toilet. Not to mention the toilets had been refurbished weeks before, still looking exactly the same.

This isn't the first changing room I've seen with a unappealing chair plonked in. Clearly the people who design these spaces have never breast fed or don't have children. 

Lesson learnt. It just reminds me of why I said no thanks to a offer of feeding in the changing room at the hospital when Isla was about 10 days old. The offer from a nurse. I said no thank you politely and thought nothing more of it until now. And now I'm thinking 'how effing rude'.

It's a good thing I'm less shy now and I don't mind where we feed. I've fed Isla sat in the park, sitting on a railing watching the boys crab fish, on the beach, sat on a wall for all the traffic to see. Doesn't bother me. What does bother me however is that people think nursing mothers would like to sit in the toilet to do something as natural as putting food in your own mouth.

Happy weekends

After a week of naughty toddlers (not just mine), lots of moaning (not from me this time!) and reading horrors in the news (anxiety alert!!) We've had a lovely weekend. Nothing out of the ordinary but lovely all the same.

Naughty, screaming toddlers have been the massive pain in my ass this week! Mine included but mostly other toddlers with the tantrums and crying! Oh god that screaming cry that goes straight through me like a knife! Like I said flynn is no saint and can bust a tantrum like the best of them but seriously these other toddlers were unbearable! And when flynn and I had a day of just us I realised he's alot easier to snap out of these tantrums then some of his friends (like I said he's no saint!)

The moaning is normally done by me (i try not to, honest) and I like a attract people that like to moan to me about day to day life. Fine we all deserve a moan. But sometimes I like normal conversion. Away from the moan and drama. I need less drama and more calm. Hommmm.

Not really horrors but bad news I suppose. A 9yr old girl got knocked over by a cyclist in our area on Friday and the nasty idiot cycled off leaving her in a fatal condition. He did hand him self in the next day but it left me seething that any one could leave a child in such a state. Then there's the train crash in Spain and a man somewhere in the world who done horrible, unthinkable things to some girls but skipped the death sentence because he offered to do life in jail. How he has the choice is beyond me!

Enough of the groan! To gather my inner calm we went to my favourite beach, which is never busy or dirty and the water is shallow enough for flynn to play in with out me dying of a heart attack. Normally there's cockles but we only found diddy ones. Flynn amd daddy had fun splashing arojnd in the freezing sea whilst isla and I had a cwtch on the sand. Bliss. And then we went for a drive in the lovely area which bends all around the beach. So lovely to see families out doing things they enjoy. I miss all these things as I'm too busy thinking about the next thing I have to do.

Today was spent us having our pictures taken (more on this later) and going to the local funday at the park. Fun happy family time. Tainted only a little bit by some moaning (not me, all about the calm) I will not be dragged down, I will not be dragged down. New mantra!

All for the calm.

Catching up

Ive been catching up with some things (sleep definitely not one of them). Nothing important, mainly housework and people. Although the housework is lacking. Oops. I've been trying not to think too much as well. It hurts my brain, and the kids do that as well. So I've been trying to lead and easy life, hense the no blogging. Sorry about that.

Lots of things have come to mind. My exercising, wedding's (not mine don't panic), the kids driving me crazy nuts, my lack of enthusiasm towards housework, my love for this current lush weather. But I haven't blogged.

So instead I shall update you with insti pics

Enjoy.

Mood

Can someone please snap me out of this mother of a bad mood! Its been hovering for a couple of weeks now and it's making me one of those mothers I don't want to be. Shouty, short patients and an extreme grump. Poor Flynn is getting the brunt end of it. Every time I shout louder then necessary or tell him off for the stupidest thing i kick my self and then ill see him playing nicely and feel extra guilty!

I know the problems that are making me feel this way. A multitude of lack of sleep - Isla likes to wake up 3 times a night of recent, money worries, the decorating if half done and the house is falling apart around us, flynn is in a whiney/I'm not listening to you stage which is driving me barmy! Just to name a few. And the fact that I let all these things get to me the way they do brings me down a little more.

I'm even boring myself blabbing about it. Just snap out of it woman!!

Isla at 6 months

My iddy biddy girl is 6 months old today. I'm freaking out at how fast shes growing. Everyday shes learning different things and wants to be doing new things all the time. When Flynn was born I just couldn't wait for him to do the next thing. To role, to have his first solids, to sit..literally all his 'firsts' I just couldn't wait for. With Isla my attitude is completely opposite. I just need her to be a baby for longer. Isla had solids later, she's still in her bassinet and still rocks her baby grows. I've also breast feed isla for 6 whole months. Something I thought I would never be able to do (me and flynn lasted 10 days before going on to expressing) and I'm so proud of us for sticking at it!

She loves to play on her play gym and roll over and then scream after 4 minutes. Kisses and cuddles from Flynn mesmerize her. She has the tickleist (we all know that's a word) chin and arm pits. The diddiest feet. And smiles at anyone and everyone but saves the biggest smiles for her daddio!

Here's to the next 6 month's!  I can't wait to see what Isla does next but I'm not gunna lie she can stay a baby for longer!