27 Days

These past 27 days have mainly been me trying to keep this ruddy house tidy (near impossible most days), trying to control the terror that my lovely first born is becoming, waving bye to loved ones, keeping bugs and infections away and catching up on A LOT of lost shut eye.

I've been a bit lost for inspiration and time for post's. I've been catching up on some on my favourite blogs, like More That Toast, I'm Only Saying What You're Thinking & oh! you pretty things on a daily bases and they give me the oomph the write but then I loose it. And then a month has passed and I still haven't written anything.

To be honest I haven't exactly pushed the blog for readers, it's mainly just for me to off load and if someone reads then I'm happy. I'm a bit scared that if I do push for readers then I still won't get any or people will find me boring. Silly? I think so.

So instead of trying to rack my baby shrivelled brains for a stupidly long post about what we've been doing over the past 27 days, I'll show you in true instagram stylee. And in the mean time I'll give my inner blogging self a kick up the ass and tell her to snap out of this silly mood.

 

 Found some old pictures of the boy as a little chub...the quiet days before little shit syndrome set in!

 

 

What I do most days

 

 

 

A rare moment when these kidlets sleep at the same time!

 

3 months old to the hr! STOP GROWING!

 

 

Breast feeding 3 months on..

To say that I'm proud of Isla and I for feeding for 3 solid months would be a major under statement! I never dreamt we would make it this far, it was hard work to start with and it hurt so bad but I kept telling my self 'it will get better' and it has!

I've been reflecting alot over the past few weeks about how mine and Flynn's feeding experiance was and how different mine and Isla's has turn out.

Flynn was breastfed for 10 painful days, and then I exclusivly expressed my milk for him for about 4 months after that, It turned out too much for me, I felt like if i wasnt giving him a bottle I was expressing and it run me down. I admitted 'defeat' (in my eyes) gave him the last of the breast milk i had left over, switched to formula, and went to the Dr's for PND. I felt like a massive failiure that I didn't have the strength to feed my own baby what the health care professionals say is best!

Looking back now I was SO hard on myself! I did what I could as a first time mum who had no idea what she was doing! And Flynn hasn't been affected for not being breast fed for the first 6 months of his life! What affect could he possibly have!? None.

However..I dont doubt or have a problem with formula. You have to do what you have to do to have a heathy & happy mama and baby.

Breast feeding could not be easier this time round..reason being - I knew what not to do.
* Don't hold back on feelings, if it hurts or you feel a bit lost with it all, seek help. Health visitors & breast feeding consultants are there to help and they work wonders.
* Use Lansinoh. It's a miricle in a tube. After two tubes, my poor sore nips were back to normal health. Expensive at £10 but SO worth it!
* It does definatley 100% get easier. You don't hear this enough! People say it but dont stress it enough. I read a few times that after 12 weeks you'll be a breast feeding pro. I thought what utter bull shit, IT HURTS! But it really does happen.

If things turned out like they did with Flynn I would have switched to formula sooner and not been so hard on myself and just been proud of however long we lasted. I only choose breast over bottle because it's so much easier. No washing, no sterilising, no faffing at 3am.
Such a lovely feeling to put a wide awake baby down and come back to see this..

*This was not a sponsored post just my own thoughts.

Busy

Busy mad week. Some good bits, some bad bits. Mainly involved me shouting at flynn ALOT! The child just does not listen, so I have to repeat my message to him several times, voice getting louder each time. I then feel guilty for shouting and telling off. I seem to be the only one who tells him off. I always say to myself "pick your battles well with flynn" other wise I end up telling him off non stop but I seem to be telling him off non stop anyway. Infuriating.

People like to turn up at my door unannounced, which is ok, i dont mind company. But sometimes a little heads up wouldnt go a miss. I do have two young things to look after so clothes and makeup dont really happen. So when people just turn up it makes me feel pretty shit as I look a mess and probably havnt brushed my teeth. Not nice. They also turn up at really good times like when im trying to get flynn to sleep or have my boobs out. Again, very fucking annoying. Like I said I dont mind company. Sometimes.

Good point is he started nursery on Wednesday. We only went to see it on Tuesday but they had spaces and he played so nicely for the short time we were there on the Tuesday that she said he could start straight away. Dropped him off the next day and he could not wait to get through those doors. Not even a hug. Not even a goodbye! The little shit didnt even realise I had gone. No tears. No looking back. Two and a half years ive nurtured that boy and he didnt even realise I was gone!

So to end this week nicely I indulged in a bloody amazing massage and some reflexology to 'balance my hormones'. Heres to a happier me. 

Silent sunday

Matilda Mae

I read very few blogs religiously but the ones I do read I love to keep up to date with. Most of them involving lovely mums and their lovely kidlets. So I dedicate this post to Jennie at Edspire, who I discovered when i fell pregnant with Isla, she was pregnant at the same time. She suddenly lost her baby girl Matilda Mae on sunday night. Matilda Mae was a gloriously happy and healthy little girl, who was exactly 9 months old. This news has really touched my heart and I cant even begin to imagine the pain Jennie and her familly are going through. When you read about peoples lifes and families on a day to day basis you learn an aweful lot about who they are. This baby girl will be so desrly missed and I send all my love and strength to Jennie and her family at this very sad time.

23

23 is my new magic number. Old I know. Pah. I look about 25, feel 85. Other then that I had a lovely day on Tue,  was very spoilt with gifts and flowers and chocolates and a lovely thai dinner ordered from our favorite thai place. Was looking forward to my first glass of wine since finding out I was pregnant but Isla had other ideas and would not settle and fed on and off all evening so I had half a glass that was enjoyed by the sip over about 3 hrs! Had a late night. Wait for it. 10pm! Geez am I paying for it now. And will finish with going shopping tomorrow with Danielle. Lavley!

Isla 3 smiles

So I've had 3 smiles. First one was a complete surprise, a weekend when Lee was away, Flynn at his Nans, me with a towel on my head cooing over Isla as she had just woke up from a marathon 5hr nap and there it was. I didn't quite believe it at first as most of her smiles are wind but then it stayed longer and she was staring straight at me. I don't think people believed me though.
The second was on Saturday after a day out shopping. Lee carried Isla in the Bjorn the whole time and when we got home I was getting her out of the car seat and I said 'Did you miss Mummy' in my highest pitched voice going. Lee saw this one so it had to be real.
Third was tonight. She was having a melt down. Nothing was soothing her. So I took her into a quiet room. Asked her what was wrong. And a big beam came.

So rewarding after all these weeks of being used as a cow/dummy/comforter. After sitting surrounded by mess every where. After feeling more then a little unappreciated by all. Looking a mess and feeling like a zombie. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip and look like I'm a natural. All it took was a few smiles and I feel right as rain.

Until all the crying and mess starts to get to me again. And then another smile and all will be right in the world. Swings and roundabouts.

Until my next smile, this is all we get.